10 Things I learned in 2017

Wow, here are are, almost into 2018. I won’t even lie, I’ve been in 2018 for about 2 weeks now. I kind of put a hard pass on this year a few months ago. But you know, I had to really learn and embrace the fact that it’s not really about the sequence of events that have happened in my year - it’s who I decided I was going to become from those events. 


We aren’t really strangers here so you may be aware of my not so pretty life this year. From my son passing away at birth, moving back to Michigan, living the single life (which is like..how do y’all do it because this new stuff out here lol), many wine nights, changing jobs, trying to get clear skin, a bigger booty, drink green smoothies and pay off a couple bills life has been too real. Those struggles though actually created something really lit inside of me. Week by week I’ve had challenges, fails, and small wins. I celebrate all of them, and I welcome all of it. To say the least…


10 things I’ve learned in 2017

1. Be Realistic

Depending on the situation, sometimes this was a hard pill to swallow. It can relate to so many things but when you learn to be realistic about your situation, whats going on with you, where you’re at in your life; it makes it easier for you to be accepting of whats to come. You learn what needs to shift and/or change for you to do what you have to do. That guy that you like may not be into you, thats cool. Those “friends” really aren’t friends, that’s fine too. You may not have edges, that can possibly change I don’t really know, or you may be broke. I don’t know what the case is but own your sh*t. Own the opportunities, and boss up from them. When you live in the now your life WILL thank you because you aren’t wasting time on what isn’t, or what’s not happening. We don’t do fairytales. 

2. Focus on Today

“Don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” Matthew 6:34. That stuck with me super heavily because I can be a worrier. I will overthink, over plan, and let the anxiety kick in. Welcome to my Type A reality lol. Focusing on today and what’s needed to even get through today creates its own accomplishments. I’m not saying don’t plan for the week, or the month if that’s what you need to do. I’m simply saying give yourself grace to get through the day and handle what comes with that day. A lot can happen in 24 hours learn to just be IN the day mentality and slowly climb the mountain. 

3. Chase Happiness

You deserve ALL the things that make your life lit, make you smile, and seriously give you peace. I think we need to be putting price tags on our happiness, for real. The value you find in what truly creates happiness for you keep that and hold it super close. Sometimes you have to say no, let people go, change up your routine to create more abundance in your soul. Let life be lit for you. Do all the things! Spend time with God, eat some lamb chops, or get a pedicure. Know the value in having happiness and doing things that contribute to that value you’ve placed on it. 

4. Wine & Rap Music

When all else fails - grab the wine, turn on the music and handle it. Enough said. Double or Nothing

5. Say No, it's Okay..

I probably say “No,” more then I say yes. Sad, but you know what. If I don’t want to do it, if I don’t think it’ll be valuable or make sense then I won’t do it. Of course I’m mindful in this process but to say the least sometimes you can’t do everything, be everywhere or let people drain you because saying no makes you “feel bad.” Why do people say that? “Aww I feel bad..” Stop it. 

6. Less talk, More Action

At some point you just have to get things done. Stop telling the whole world what your plans are and start showing them. You’ll feel life pushing you forward when you shift that behavior of all talk. When you level up and allow yourself to be around people that DO handle business, have a plan, own a few businesses and do the work daily you’ll realize no one wants to hear your words. They want to see okay what have you done, what have you thought through, when is it happening? Just be about it. It’s another form of leveling up - and trust me I’ve been learning this a lot. 

7. Run to God Before You Run to People

Tell God your problems first. DOn’t always run to social media or run to your friends. Run to the person you pray to for direction, peace, guidance, and wisdom. I love my friends but I know they can’t help me with every single issue I have. That’s like putting my whole life on them, and what happens when I run to one of them and they don’t tell me what I wanted to hear? What I thought I needed? When you learn to depend on God and run to God first, you cut out the need to feel like you can’t handle whatever is happening in your life that he’s always equipped you to handle. You are more than enough, you got this.

8. Be Intentional

How you spend your time, how you live your life, where you decide to go. Be intentional with the things you want to do so you’re creating more fulfillment for yourself. I wrote down what my values were, and of course what my desires and goals were. I intentionally do things around those desires. If I know I’m focused on self-grow, healing, money, etc. I’m spending time doing things in those areas that are contributing. I’m around people that thrive in those areas, people that are better than me so I can get better. I’m getting a financial advisor to help me manage and grow my money. Be involved in the things that contribute to the bigger vision you have for your life. 

9. Wellness Means Wealth

To me, health, fitness, and self-care make up the overall bigger picture of wellness. Create time to put yourself first especially in this area. I’m trying to live to be 90+ okay, that means there are some things I need to cut back on or cut out to create a healthier me. My great grandmother is 94 or 95 years old. I’m trying to catch that wave. I think once you learn what wellness means to you and how you place value on it in YOUR life, then create the direction you need to ensure its apart of your daily life in one way or another. Maybe that is meal prepping for the week, going to the spa, drinking green smoothies daily, removing red meat until you’re just over it. Whatever that means to you make it happen. 

10. Don’t Settle

You are far to amazing to settle for anything less then you desire. Keep on pushing, and realize the things in your life that you aren’t willing to sacrifice. For me thats happiness, peace, financial stability, dogs, getting my hair done bi-weekly, etc. I’m not working a job I don’t like, I’m not spending time with someone that drains me, and I’m surely not dating someone with a whole bag full of extra drama that loves cats. I’m just saying….be true to who you are. We all have room for growth and development, but theres a fine line between the two. 

Have an amazing rest of the year! Let’s all go into 2018 like Beyonce’ with a new weave! I want you to win, live your best life, and I hope my little lessons can contribute to your glow up.



Renee CoakleyComment